It's a Girl!

Hello bloggers, this is Greg, aka daddy, with his first attempt at blogging.  Drum roll please......... It's a chick!!  8:13 am, via c section, 6# 15 oz.  Cute!  Mom is good (and stoned on morphine) that's why I'm blogging.  We got nice chocolate and flowers from grandma and gimpa.  I was recently informed that baby had a "really nice" wet diaper.  That's right the nurse changed it!  However I did change one, so take it easy, MOM.  I've got a big box of cigars so I'll be labeling them and sending out in order of nicest baby gifts.  Only kidding!  We look forward to talking to y'all.  We're also working on names.  Anywho, I'll attach some photos here and then I get to hold the baby!  The photos are in order of appearance our friend and former roommate katie, next is our friend and my former coworker Magda, then yours truly and mommy sarah, last but not least is the first time grandma Martha

A Good Day to be Born

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. 
-Hamilton Wright Mabie

Down the Rabbit Hole

Today I have been feeling like Alice peering down the rabbit hole, with no way to imagine the world waiting for her on the other side.  Tomorrow Greg and I will jump right in and end up in a Wonderland of our own.  There is something truly surreal about knowing the date and time when your world is going to be launched into a whole new realm.  It's like traveling to a foreign country for the first time.  You can read all the books, pack everything perfectly, talk to people who have been there, but really there is nothing to prepare you for the experiences that await you.  You just go in with an open mind and a positive attitude and enjoy the ride!  

Okay, enough with the metaphors!  Greg and I are enjoying our last day before we take the big leap.  We slept in and started the day off with a trip to our favorite bakery and took a nice walk downtown.  The car is clean, the house is clean, the car seat is ready to rock, the bags are packed and we are just milking the remaining hours.

We are so excited to share all the details of our little one's arrival with you tomorrow.  In the mean time we appreciate the company as we all revel in anticipation of what is to come!

Merry Christmas!

Warm holiday wishes to all of you far off folk!
Greg and I enjoyed a mellow morning of gourmet pancakes and some simple stocking suffers.  Greg, sporting some Wisconsin pride (thanks Mike for that gem!), was pretty excited to open some baby goodies from Sean and Kelsey...as you can see.  The afternoon brought a trip to the disc golf course followed by a fabulous food filled evening.
Greg and I got cozy in the kitchen and prepared my dear friend Tarrah's amazing recipe for a Curried Vegetable Pie for dinner and Gingerbread for desert. We spent the rest of the evening in a heated game of sheepshead with some fellow Midwestern transplants, Sean, Kelsey and Scott. Greg, of course, came out on top and is now going to try to continue his winning streak in a late night game of poker.  It was a great holiday and while we weren't sad to miss the twelve degree weather in Wisconsin, we sure did miss all the warm family gatherings.  

A Christmas Poem

My Ai Chi instructor, Patty, shared this poem with me.
It captures the story of Christmas, which is really a story of birth, just beautifully.
Enjoy!

THE NATIVITY

No man reaches where the moon touches a woman.
Even the moon leaves her when she opens
Deeper into the ripple in her womb
That encircles dark to become flesh and bone.

Someone is coming ashore inside her.
A face deciphers itself from water
And she curves around the gathering wave,
Opening to offer the life it craves.

In a corner stall of pilgrim strangers,
She falls and heaves, holding a tide of tears.
A red wire of pain feeds through every vein
Until night unweaves and the child reaches dawn.

Outside each other now, she sees him first
Flesh of her flesh, her dreamt son safe on earth.

John O”Donahue

The Home Stretch!

We had our last visit with the midwives today and everything went well.  At thirty-eight and a half weeks Baby is still happy, with a strong heartbeat and is doing lots of calisthenics.  And I am not growing or gaining as much these days, measuring 36 1/2 cm.  While I can not imagine being any bigger, I must say that I am pretty comfortable.  I can still put my own socks on and I can even touch my toes!  

We are looking forward to Mom's arrival next Tuesday. One benefit of knowing when the baby is coming is that it allows Mom's arrival to be perfectly timed! We get to keep her for ten whole days and may not let her go!

As Greg and I enter our last week of being a just a couple we are enjoying and savoring every moment, yet they somehow manage to fly by.  Our list of things to do before baby comes seems impossibly short. So we are taking naps and sleeping in and watching movies and eating out. All things that will be but fond memories in a matter of weeks!

Our Visit with the Doc

Today Greg and I met with our new obstetrician, Dr. Paul Qualtere-Burcher, aka Dr. QB.  He is a great doc and Greg and I like him very much.  He listened to our list of questions and requests for the birth with an open mind and was very receptive to them.  He is very empathetic to my desire of having an experience that feels like a birth, not a surgery.   We are going to bring in some music to listen to during the birth, my friend Allison Zopel's CD, Music from Within.  If I am feeling brave I can ask for the curtain to be lowered as the baby is born.  Greg will be able to make the gender announcement of our little boy or girl, a delicious moment I cannot wait for!   And if baby and I are doing well then Greg and baby will be able to stay with me as I am getting sutured up.

It has been such a blessing to be able to take the time to adjust to the idea of a cesarean birth and be able to look at it in a positive light.  I fully believe that the energy and expectation that I bring with me will determine our birth experience.  And just because we didn't plan for this doesn't mean that it is any less beautiful and amazing.  We are just so excited to meet our little one and begin our adventures as a family. 

Thank You

I want to thank you all so much for the support that you have given me and Greg throughout this time of transition and letting go, by which I mean the whole pregnancy, really, and especially the past couple of weeks.  We are getting very excited to meet the little one, and are finding ourselves less concerned with the means to this beautiful end.  

Greg has been so supportive and is helping me to find and focus on the many positives that we have to look forward to.  And I feel all of the thoughts and prayers from everyone back home and far away with me everyday.  

I am also blessed to have a community of incredible healing women supporting me through this change in plans.  In a reiki session with my amazing friend, Julia, I was able to see that the baby is trying to move, and perhaps is not the little rebel I had thought it to be.  Then yesterday I met with my naturopath, Rachel, for a cranio-sacral session, after which I found myself putting a lot more trust and faith in the baby to know what it needs to do.  

Initially I was more concerned with trusting my body to know what to do during labor.  Now I am finding myself placing this trust in the baby to know where it needs to be.  My birth plan now is simply to have a beautiful birth and savor every moment, even the ones I didn't plan on.

BINGO!

One of the last places a pregnant woman feels comfortable is a bar. I have to imagine that even those who allow themselves to drink wouldn't want to do it in a bar. People just look at you with that I-sure-hope-someone-from-child-services-sees-this-and-busts-her-right-here look. There is, however, one glorious exception: Sam Bond's Garage. Sam Bond's has a cozy classic cabin feel and attracts the laid back alternative cool cats of Eugene, which suffers from an overabundance of frat-boy meat markets. In short, Sam Bond's is, well, a 'hippie' bar. Full of friendly faces, local beer, organic food and funtastic theme nights. The best nights to visit Sam Bond's are Monday, for free and feisty Bingo Night and Tuesday for the free Bluegrass Jam.
After a seven month hiatus from my favorite local watering hole, I finally managed to stay up past nine o'clock and make it to a Bingo night. It was a couple weeks ago, the day I took my final for nursing school (which I got an A on!!) and the last day of the birthing classes that Greg and I have been taking. Greg and I got there after they had started the first round and were greeted by many familiar faces and not a single sideways glance at the belly. As we sunk down into the split log benches and pulled a pile of pennies toward our bingo cards I noticed that the art on the walls was affirming my appearance in this bar scene.
Local Eugene Artist, Claire Flint's 'Femme Fertile' exhibit was on display. This exhibit features a series of sultry and seductive pregnant nudes, each painting measure about three feet wide by five feet high and added a sexy maternal mood to the atmosphere.

I felt right at home with my glass of water, oversized slice of pizza and big pregnant belly.

Greg and I were further affirmed when Greg won an all-too-appropriate prize in a game of Bingo.  The Bingo prizes at Sam Bond's are legend.  They are inspired by the outdated, often useless trinkets and gadgets that are live on the shelves of the 'miscellaneous' isles in the local Goodwill. From commemorative collector's plates, to hands-free potato peelers, to VHS Richard Simmons workouts, I have to  imagine that the prizes often times end up from whence they came.  This, however, does not diminish the satisfaction of winning said prize.  When Greg walked up on stage to claim his infamous prize he had to play a game of rock-paper-scissors to settle a suspenseful tie-breaker, which thanks to his superior strategy he was able to dominate after another nail-biting tie.  The hosts of Bingo handed Greg his prize: an eighties romance novel entitled (this is the best part) Pregnant by a Millionaire!  Greg whispered to the hosts that his fiancé was pregnant and gestured toward where I was sitting.
I gave the belly a little rub as they announced it to the bar, which responded in resounding applause.  I like to think that this is an omen that Greg is on his way to being a millionaire.

The book now bears a proud spot on our book shelf and perhaps one day it will be passed down....in about another thirty years when the child is old enough!  Until then it will likely collect it's fair share of dust as we will be preoccupied with Dr. Seuss and Beatrix Potter for the next few years.

Best Laid Plans

I am not a planner. My idea of a five year plan has been to 'get a degree' and that plan has taken me nine years so far and is still under way. The problem with plans is that you become attached to them. You get this false sense of control over them, when really life does not grant us this kind of control. And what fun would it be if it did?! All of the suspense and surprise that comes from embracing the unknown would be lost....Bo-ring! For me the journey has always been the destination. It's not where you go, but how you get there. And my while my journey has not stayed an obvious steady course, it has lead me to some pretty amazing destinations.

However, in the past couple of years I have begun to get in touch with my inner planner, trying to take a little more control over the course I am charting. At this the universe just laughs and reminds me to maintain a sense of non attachment to my precious plans.

As you may have deduced by now, the external version yesterday was not able to coerce this child into the launch position. The physical strength and medical experience of a surgeon and a midwife were not able to budge the baby past the transverse position. I have known from the beginning that this was a determined child who was not the least bit concerned with my plans, so really I have no cause to be surprised. And, honestly, I am not surprised.

I have done everything in my power to influence the position our little independent enigma. I have spent the past two weeks with my chin on the floor and my butt in the air in an attempt to get the baby's head to 'float' up into my pelvis (due to the greater air space in the head as opposed to the butt). I have been swimming, which is far more enjoyable, but still slightly socially awkward. Just imagine a very pregnant lady waddling into the pool and then proceeding to do a series of hand stands, continually diving down and throwing her legs up in the air. "The baby's upside down" I say to those that can't help but stare. I have taken to carrying my iPod around with my with the earpieces stuffed into my panties, hoping that the calming cello concertos of Yo Yo Ma will coax draw the baby downward. I stack ice packs on my belly to try to give the baby a brain freeze that will make diving down to warmer waters more appealing. I have been seeing my acupuncturist who can get the baby to move by poking a needle into the outside of my little toes and wiggling it around. Greg and I did a guided meditation with my naturopath and have been talking to the baby, telling him or her all the the reasons why he or she should turn.

All to no avail.

So I am not surprised that this baby's will is stronger than that of the two doctors who tried to force him or her to move yesterday. But I am still having a hard time letting go of the birth plan that Greg and I have been imagining for the past eight months. While they say there is still a chance that the baby may turn, as he or she has not yet completely descended into my pelvis, the next step after a failed version is to schedule a C-section. So we can all look forward to New Year's Eve, when we will be able to meet this little rebel. Talk about planning!

In opening myself up to the complete surrender of our birth plan, I can not help but feel a loss. Now I know that not every woman looks forward to the pain of labor and natural birth, but I was really looking forward to seeing what my body can do. It's like training for a marathon for eight months and then when the time comes to run the race they tell you that you won't be running, you'll be taken directly to the finish line. And when everyone crosses the finish line all ragged and exhausted they tell you how lucky you are for escaping the blisters, joint pain, and paralyzing exhaustion. But you would have given anything to lose count of the blisters on your feet, to puke at mile 23 and still make it to the finish, to feel that runner's high. So right now I am feeling a little cheated and a little sad, feelings which I know will melt away the moment I get to meet our little enigma.

In spite of all of this the optimist in me is still alive and well. And while I prepare for this new birth plan I will still hold out hope for the baby to change his or her mind and surprise us all by turning at the last minute. No matter how it ends up, Greg and I are getting our first lesson in parenting. Learning that no matter what we plan or dream for our child, they are the ones in control. So we get to learn early the never ending lesson of letting go and learning to accept the decisions that your children make.

Holy Heartburn!

So I really can't complain.  I have had a wonderful, even enjoyable pregnancy and still consider myself to be profoundly blessed.  But I have finally been fed my dose of reality these past few weeks.  Baby is still breech, which apparently has its side effects, namely indigestion.  I now know that I have never had true indigestion before.  Even the thought of food makes my chest burn.  Motivating myself to spend extended periods of time in inverted positions has been increasingly difficult, especially when the baby seems to just nestle his or her self further into my rib cage.  A couple of nights ago I could not sleep for the life of me.  Every toss and turn came with a burning belch (also causing Greg to sacrifice a couple of Zs).  I decided that if I did not get to sleep that I would get myself to the Seven Eleven and purchase some Tums.  It wasn't until I dreamed that I went to an all night pharmacy to get prescription strength Tums that I finally fell asleep.  Later that day my dream came true and with the help of calcium carbonate and aloe vera juice I am finding myself more motivated for inversions and acidic indulgences.

In other news, our little enigma is already showing signs of independence and is keeping his or her head up.  We have an external version scheduled for this Wednesday morning.  So keep thinking thoughts and praying prayers of a baby turning.  

Seven Sweet Somethings

I was recently tagged by one of my very best friends, Becky Kazana, who is living the life of an artist and blogger extraordinaire in the great open spaces of the American Southwest, to do a post sharing seven tidbits about myself. My Miss B is infinitely talented at artistry and did a splendid representational drawing of her seven silly somethings. I will spare you my attempts at drawing and take this opportunity to share some more photos with you. I love this idea, it has proved to be a most useful exercise in focusing on all the beauty and many positvities that we are always surrounded by, yet can so easily slip into the background. So here's to those profound little things that make life go round!
In no particular order....

1. Looking up to Tree Tops

2. Barefoot Beachcombing along the Oregon Coast

3. The Tree Swing at Mount Pisgah

4. Bishop Kisses (in moderation!)

5. Waterfalls You Can Walk Behind

6. Snow Days

7. Hiking On Top of the Clouds

So now it's your turn! I am tagging :
Mary Marie White
Scott and Miranda
Life with the Hermansons

Wilson Scott Daby

Turn Baby Turn!

At our midwife appointment this week we had an ultrasound confirm that our little one is upside down. At thirty-six weeks we really want baby to be head down in the launching position. With this news I have had to open myself up to the reality of a not-so-natural delivery. A thought that I am having a hard time warming up to.
Before our ultrasound next week we will be indulging any and every tactic to coerce the baby to turn. There are many activities believed to help a baby to turn. Both Greg and I have been talking to it, telling it how much more comfortable it will be head down. I have been visualizing the baby turning and singing it the song 'Turn Turn Turn' by the Byrds. I am going to try to spend more time in the pool this week after school is done. And every day I try to stand on my head when the baby is most active, which usually ends me up in some altered inversion involving lots of pillows and agitated indigestion. Again, not a stretch to find the humor there!
We are considering this our first lesson in parenting, the first of many times when our plans for our child will not influence actual reality. Although we are still holding out hope for a little sway in this situation.
Perhaps you can all send topsy turvy thougts and prayers to the baby while you enjoy this classic easy listening oldie.

Finding the Silver Lining

This past week has encompassed some amazing extremes.
I have been wanting to write much sooner, but I started my week on Monday morning by falling and landing on my wrist. I sprained it pretty good, I am still using two hands to brush my teeth and trying to cut veggies with my left hand (dangerous!). On the up side, Greg has had to do the dishes and sweeping for a little while!

Later Monday afternoon Mom and I went to Mount Pisgah for a nice long hike with Bishop. When we returned to the car we found that the driver's side window had been forced down into the door and my purse was stolen, literally adding insult to injury! While I still lost a couple hundred dollars, my bus pass, some baby gift certificates, my passport and more there is still a silver lining. Luckily I had left my cell phone and iPod at home! And since the perpetrator opted to force the window down into the door over smashing it in, the repairs were covered under our Toyota maintenance agreement! So there was no insurance claim and no need to turn our pockets inside out after they had been picked dry.

As I sat on the couch with my wrist on ice, canceling my credit cards and taking inventory of my losses, I had to laugh when Greg started playing the air violin for me from across the room. One of my favorite things about Greg is his innate ability to get me laughing when I'm on the verge of getting upset. It's really a fantastic alternative. There are of course, times when this tactic backfires, but this week it was just what I needed. It helps to be able to laugh at the comedy of errors we encounter. And it really is pretty funny to watch someone brush their teeth with two hands!

Truly Blessed

There are times when it is easy to forget how blessed we really are, and this past Sunday I was reminded in a truly unforgettable way. My Eugene sisters, Katie and Magda, organized a blessing way that brought together women from all the different realms of my life. I am surrounded by some of the most intuitive and inspiring women imaginable and having them all in the same room together was just magical! The blessings that were shared during the bead ceremony will be with me forever. After absorbing all of their faith and support I felt a strength and love that is yet unparalleled. Having Mom there made the whole day even more magical.  Many thanks to those who were there in person and in spirit.

In the kitchen with Katie!

Passing the string around the circle to connect us all.

Afterwards we all cut a string to tie around our wrists to remind us of the new baby coming!

All of our hands together with our reminders tied on.

Bishop thought that all of these hands were reached out to pet him and give him blessings!

My cake eating grin!

This creation was a four layer chocolate cake with raspberry compote on top, espresso infused cream in the middle and vanilla frosting around the outside! Purely decadent!
Thanks Magda!

The perfect day to share with Mom!